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BLUE Couch Or RED Couch?

Not again!!

Don’t you just hate it when your couch breaks just before an important political event with international significance? Which couch are you going to vote for… err… buy, when the furniture store only offers you the same old red or blue seating arrangements?

This quiz will definitely (not) help you make an informed decision. Let’s GO!

  • Question of

    Family: Pick the argument of the couch that would make you more comfortable having your children sitting on it.

    • “If this red chair wasn’t my kid I’d be dating it!”
    • “And the kids used to sit down and reach down the armrest and rub down my wooden legs […], I learned about kids jumping on my cushions, and I love kids jumping on my cushions.
  • Question of

    Health: Which couch, in your opinion, appears to have a firmer grasp on coronavirus matters?

    • “It’s the China couch. It’s not the coronacouch. Corona sounds like a place in Italy, a beautiful place.”
    • “If Red Couch has their way, the complications from a sore butt, which are well beyond what they should be – it’s estimated that 200 million people have died — probably by the time you get off your ass.”
  • Question of

    Inclusion: Choose the statement from our two uplostered candidates which resonates with you the most.

    • “I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be poofs, but I am a traditional couch.”
    • “You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.”
  • Question of

    Confidence: Which remark has the bigger potential to win over undecided voters… I mean, buyers??

    • “Competitors move their furniture factories to prevent a level playing field and to avoid liability, shifting production to Thigh-land…”
    • “You know, we have to take a seat together. That’s why I’m on sale. I’m on sale as a proud couch for the Senate.”

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